Agent Undercover
by LPlover93
Summary: All Draco wants to do is ask Hermione out. All Hermione wants to do is get into the latest case.


I finally decided to participate in the Dramione Remix, and I am so glad I did!  
I chose Miss Congeniality, because I love that film and never get tired of it.

Mister Hottie is the male counterpart to Miss United States in the movie, thus Americanisms were used.

I finally got around to posting this!

Edited by the lovely Dors who edited this at the last minute for me!

Disclaimer: I do not own Miss Congeniality, Harry Potter or any of its characters.  
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"Granger, you really stepped in some crap this time!"

Hermione blew a bit of hair out of her face as she carefully brought the levitating coffees down onto the respective desks they were intended for. She ignored the catcall and looked at the Bossman's face, the one she wanted to butter up. However, he had an unimpressed look on his face, even as he sipped the coffee he loved but avoided because of its cost.

Harry got up with a bunch of papers and let his hand brush against hers as he showed her sympathetic eyes and walked away. She looked around at all her co-workers, who seemed to be avoiding eye-contact with her. However, Draco looked at her with a small but soft smile and she took a little encouragement from that smile. She sat at her cubicle, waiting for Kingsley to get up so she could make her request to join in the latest case. Harry was the Head Auror for that case, seeing how it was high-profile one. She knew the coffee might soften Kingsley up some, and if she pleaded a lot, she might just get the break she wanted. She could do with sinking her teeth into a juicy case.

She got up from her paperwork as she saw Kingsley walk away. Harry, who had come back from his errand, stopped her to say, "You'd better not go after him now; he's still mad at you."

Hermione just shrugged off his advice and told him, "Nah, I'll talk to him. He loves me, and I have a brilliant case-closing rate." She started jogging towards her boss and caught him just as he was about to go down the lift.

It was thankfully empty. She started pleading her case. "Boss, let me get in this case. You know I'll be able to locate the start of the threat letters before any of those knuckleheads."

Kingsley shook his head. "The last time you said that, I lost a potential witness and one of your co-workers because you were sloppy and didn't listen to my instructions."

She blew at the irritating bit of hair again as she said, "Yessir, I understand, sir. But I'll keep my nose clean this time, you can be sure of that."

Kingsley said, "You're a liability, Granger. And this is a high-profile case involving Quidditch players and other countries and a lot riding on the outcome. Malfoy and Potter have a good rapport, for all the fighting they apparently did at Hogwarts. You can do all the paperwork. Sit this case out, rest, go party."

She shook her head impatiently as Kingsley got out; she went back up to her cubicle. Harry was standing there and gave her a hug as he said, "I'm sorry, girl."

Draco, who sat in the next cubicle, looked over as he asked, "So, are you joining us?" She shook her head as he said, "Damn! I was looking forward to spending time together."

She said, "Well, if you want, you can assist with all this paperwork."

Draco said, "Sure, let me finish this thing and I'll be there."

She turned around only to see Harry shaking his head sadly. She didn't understand him. He kept saying that Draco had a crush on her, but that wasn't possible. Draco was the office hottie, and if he had to go out with one of his work colleagues, it would be someone like Lavender or Susan. Not her.

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Hermione clutched her stomach as she tried to stop laughing, but it was proving very difficult for her. Ron and Harry were on either side of her as they patiently waited for her to finish laughing.

Ron then handed back her the ice-cream cone as he said, "I don't know what you find so funny about it. People's faces painted in white and having a red ball to show a nose isn't a funny thing, it's scary. It's like Nearly Headless Nick walking through you when you are half-asleep."

She said, "You know clowns are very commonplace in the Muggle world, don't you? We have circuses, and they go there and entertain us with their slapstick comedy antics. But let's not scare the big Quidditch Keeper. Tell me, guys, what's going on with the case?"

Harry shrugged. "I know Kingsley doesn't want me to tell you, but I will, anyway. The letters haven't stopped coming, and Ron's coach is thinking of getting him out of the game."

Ron shouted, "Mate, why didn't you tell me this before? I can't be out of the game. This one is really important for the team. It's the World Cup, for Merlin's sake!"

Harry hushed Ron. "I'm not sure. See, only reason I'm telling you is because I can't not tell you. The Bossman has said that if the letters don't stop and we don't catch the perpetrator, then the players targeted in the letters should not play in the match."

Ron fumed, but he didn't say anything as a Patronus floated towards him. He heard the message then sighed heavily. "I have to go perform drills. But, keep me in the in, okay? I have to know if it involves me or my teammates." He hugged them and walked away, Disapparating when he reached an area no Muggles would see.

Hermione bit into the waffle cone as she whined, "I still don't know why Kingsley won't let me in on the case. I have closed more cases than anyone, including you."

Harry groaned. He said, "I have told you this fifteen times now, and it's not going to change just because you asked me again: you screwed up, and unless you prove yourself to him, there's no way he's putting you in the field. So, do your paperwork like a good girl and he'll trust you again, okay?" He sat closer to her and hugged her with one arm. "You'll do well, Hermione. Just dot your 'I's, cross your 'T's, and you'll be fine."

A new voice piped up, "She already works well. Why are you giving her advice?"

Hermione, who had cuddled a bit into Harry, looked up to see Draco standing there. She immediately stood up and patted Draco's shoulder. She spoke up, "Don't worry Drake, Harry was being condescendingly sappy as usual, but I can set him straight myself. You want the last of my ice-cream?"

She saw Draco give a blissful look at the ice-cream and bite into it while she was still holding it. She didn't read into things like she used to do. Draco gave the look to the ice-cream. He wasn't giving the look because it was the ice-cream Hermione had already bitten into. They were only good cubicle buddies, nothing else.

Hermione stood behind all the other Aurors, frowning a bit as they kept shifting the Hologram. It was a good bit of Charmwork, but making the girls in their office wear strapless bikinis was a bit juvenile. It was as if they were teenagers discovering porn for the first time. Harry was actually at the front of the group, making the virtual Lavender shift from side to side, while Draco stood next to her. He had folded his arms and was deliberately not looking at the screen.

She asked him, "Don't you want to enjoy the view with the guys? I know for a fact that Lavender's breasts are not fake."

Draco shook his head slightly and said, "Nah. The fact that Kingsley is coming here and will catch them not doing work will be hilarious. Plus, it's an added bonus that I like spending time with you."

Hermione just smiled. As Draco had predicted, thirty seconds later, the guys were getting reamed out by Kingsley; she and Draco just stood back and enjoyed the scene. Harry was trying not to get his ear pulled as he shrieked, "We were searching for ways to get people into the Mister Hottie contest and these girls just came up in the official list."

Kingsley stopped the Charm as he seemed to think over what Harry said. Hermione immediately understood and told him, "Sir, I'm pretty sure no one here wants to parade in their tighty-whities while trying to unmask the people who sent threats via owls."

He seemed to ignore her as his eyes went around the room and landed on an unsuspecting Draco, who was looking at Hermione. Kingsley barked, "Malfoy! You're going to get into the rounds for Mister Hot…the pageant for the Quidditch World Cup. You will not dishonour the Auror Team, you will not behave like a jackass, and you will solve the case. Understood?"

Draco immediately stood at attention, making a mock salute and shouting, "Aye, aye, sir!"

Kingsley just laughed as he said, "I'm hungry. Someone get me Chinese food for lunch."

He walked away as all the Aurors looked at Hermione with puppy-dog eyes. She kept her head down, not wanting to go and buy food for so many people, when she heard Draco say, "Hermione, please? For us?"

She said, "Damn it, I hate you guys. Draco, just for that, you're coming with me as the muscle." She missed the smile on his face as she also walked away.

Hermione tried not to drool. "Try" being the operative word. Draco was right in front of her, munching on a carrot while she tried to put a whole chocolate doughnut in her mouth. She mumbled, "Ishn't it cowold?" He gave a confused look and she raised a hand, palm out, gesturing him to wait. She swallowed the doughnut, hoping she wouldn't hurl later, and repeated, "Isn't it cold? Wearing a short pair of shorts only? What would the boss say?"

He snickered as he mimicked Kingsley. "Don't pop a chub when you're in front of me, Malfoy."

Hermione laughed a bit at the perfect imitation. But now that Draco had brought her attention to his shorts, she tried her best not to stare at that area of his body. It would be especially embarrassing if Draco _was_ sporting a chub, like he had joked. She hadn't realized till now how sexy Draco was. Back at Hogwarts, he was a smarmy, egoistical person. However, he was cutely shy at work. Sexy was a middle ground she hadn't encountered before, and she was liking it.

Hermione was walking along with Ron, scouting the field and searching for any spell-triggered traps, when she saw Draco. Rather, she saw Draco being fondled by a red-headed bimbo. She told a confused Ron to wait a second and walked across the field. Draco seemed to be nervously smiling at the girl as she rubbed up and down his arm. He looked at Hermione and gave her a pleading look to save him.

As she reached Draco, the girl, who had her boobs spilling out of her dress, said, "So, just call out 'Sexy's place for fun' if you need any help for posturing. I'll help you get into just the right position."

Hermione came to the other side of Draco and kissed up his neck.

"Hey baby, how are you doing? I missed you last night. You'll just have to make it up to me tonight, yeah babe?"

Draco seemed nervous but replied back, "Yeah, we can continue what you're doing right now on my bed."

The bimbo seemed to get the hint and stalked away in a fit of rage. Hermione started giggling as she looked towards Draco and raised a hand for a high-five. Draco, however, just gave her a weird look and walked away, careful to not show his front to her.

Draco came running up the stairs. Everyone in the office could hear him screaming "I GOT A LEAD!" as they just shook their heads and continued their work. Hermione, however, got up and summoned the bear claw she had hidden in a corner by the cooler. It was Draco's favourite treat, and he deserved it after all the salads he'd been forced to eat during the Pageant training. She walked towards the top of the stairs and held out the pastry. Fifty seconds later, she smiled triumphantly as Draco reached up and bit into the pastry, his lips touching her hand as he did so.

He went into Kingsley's office and told him, "We need Potter, Granger, Finnigan, and Perks here, stat."

Kingsley stated, "No Granger allowed here."

Draco pleaded, "We need the help of the Quidditch players as well, and seeing how Harry is running the mission, we'll need someone to relay instructions." Kingsley seemed to hesitate for a long while, till he finally nodded.

Draco called the aforementioned people in. He said, "So, these guys are going to crown the Mister Hottie right before the match starts. If we play our cards right, we might just catch the person before they blow up the stadium like they said they would in their last letter."

Perks asked, "How are we going to corner them, exactly?"

Draco pointed at the map he had. He said, "This is the area and surrounds of the stadium. Hermione, you'll be here. Harry, you'll be patrolling this corridor. Perks, you'll be in this corner as all the entrances are connected to it. Kingsley, you'll be the contact with the stadium manager, just in case we can't find them, and we'll need you to tell them to suspend the game, if necessary."

Harry said, "Ron is not going to like it. As are all those companies who invested in the World Cup."

Hermione shouted, "Do you realize Ron being alive is infinitely better than him playing a game and being blown up?"

Kingsley said, "Granger has a point. You need to speak with Ron before all this takes place. I don't want a furious Quidditch player coming on the field after I've ordered him off it."

Harry nodded.

Hermione didn't understand the craze her boys had with Quidditch but let it go. She then turned to Draco, asking him, "What exactly will you be doing?"

Draco smirked. "Since it's the finale, I will not be wearing board shorts but a three-piece suit. I'll have my wand in one pocket and my gun in another. Even if they are clever enough to Disarm me, they won't think that the guy who claimed that Muggles were a menace would carry a gun."

Hermione nodded, keeping a note to give kudos to Draco later for thinking so logically. She felt her mind wandering as Draco continued to explain but forced it to stay focussed. She didn't want to get scolded by Kingsley, not after he had finally accepted that she did exist and was useful.

Thirty minutes later, Draco had outlined the whole plan, with small suggestions inserted by Hermione. Kingsley clapped his hands and said, "So, we do as planned, and hopefully, we'll catch whoever it is. Go back to work, do paperwork, eat something. Go, go!"

Hermione saw Harry coming towards her and shook her head. He understood and walked away as she walked along with Draco. She asked, "So, how is it, being objectified by all the females and some of the males in the magical world?"

Draco said, "Surprisingly, not too scarring, if I don't think about it. Plus, I'm not that hot compared to the others."

Hermione retorted, "Of course you are! I bet if some of the girls I knew had a photo of you, they'd totally rub themselves out to it." She didn't mention that the thought had crossed her mind lots of times.

Draco bashfully replied, "Okay, whatever. So, sushi? Or Pizza?"

She shoved him playfully and said, "Pizza, along with your favourite spaghetti and meatballs?"

He said, "You are the love of my life! That's all I need: a girl who knows what I want." She just blushed, smiled a bit, and walked on with him.

Hermione was standing with Draco in the dressing room. They had just finished applying makeup to remove the dark circles under his eyes. He held onto her hand as he felt his face get more and more caked. He smirked and said, "You owe me a drink, Hermione. I got you into the field."

Hermione said, "Let's have dinner along with the drinks and you're on."

Draco stated, "Let's stop beating around the bush and just call it a date, shall we?"

Hermione started sputtering. Even though Harry had told her repeatedly, she had never believed him about Draco's crush. Now, Draco was suggesting their usual, case-closing reward be a date. She opened her mouth to reply when someone's magnified voice was heard saying, "CONTESTANTS ON THE STAGE, NOW! FORMATION AS PRACTISED!"

Draco gave her a look which said that they'd talk about things later and walked out. She waited for the room to clear and sat in the chair where Draco had been sitting. There was a mirror in front, and she looked at herself as she thought, _What do I have that makes Draco like me? _

She stared for a bit at herself until Lavender entered the room. Lavender had a big box in her hand, and she was carrying it carefully.

She asked Lavender, "What's with the box? Can I see?"

Lavender snapped, "NO!" She got her bearings back and continued, "Sorry, this is one of the many gifts for the Quidditch players. Seeing as how this pageant is being hosted in their honour, they're being given these special Snitches as a gift."

Hermione inquired, "Why are you handling it? I thought you were sorting the paperwork at the office."

Lavender tittered, "You know Cormac? We're sorta together, and this was his job. So, he asked me to do it because he had to do a lot of other tasks. Isn't that great? He trusts me enough to let me do such an important job. Okay, I gotta go, but I'll get the coffee tomorrow instead of you, okay?"

Hermione absent-mindedly nodded. "Sure, go deliver those." She got up from the chair and was about to walk to the wings so she could see who won the pageant when Cormac came running in. He shouted, "Hermione! You solve cases, right? I lost the gifts to be given to the Quidditch players. I left them out for a minute and when I came back, they weren't there!"

The wheels turned in Hermione's head as she put the pieces together and said to herself, "Lavender is the one sending the threats!"

She ran to the wings but she couldn't see either Kingsley, Harry, or Perks where they were supposed to be. She looked onto the stage where Draco was standing at the front of the line of contestants. A second later, he looked at her. She gestured frantically with her right hand, miming a Snitch. However, he wasn't comprehending and had to go forward when his name was announced.

She looked around, trying to figure out what to do, when she saw Lavender backstage, holding the Snitches and giving them to the announcer. Dawlish spoke onstage. "And before we announce the winner, let's bring out the England Quidditch players so we can honour them with small tokens of affection."

All seven players came out, Ron somewhere in the middle. She calculated her chances then threw the calculations to the wind and shouted, "Draco! Throw the gifts!" She searched for Lavender, who was trying to walk away from her seat. Hermione ran onto the stage and toward Lavender, tackling her to the ground.

Lavender had her wand out, aiming it at Hermione's groin as she said, "Ron preferred your friendship over my love and dumped me. He will get what's due to him, as will you." Before she could start the incantation, though, Hermione punched her in the mouth.

Blood filled Lavender's mouth and she couldn't spit it out in time to curse Hermione. Hermione got out her handcuffs and cuffed Lavender's hands to her back. She looked toward the stage, where Draco threw the box of Snitches into the air just in time for it to explode. She cast a Shielding Charm to protect everyone from the debris. Harry came running, Kingsley close behind him.

Kingsley shouted, "What the hell just happened?"

Hermione smirked, "We closed the case is what just happened."

Two days later, after all the paperwork was done, Hermione was telling the story to her three guys.

"So, apparently, Lavender was very pissed that Ron broke up with her while we were in school. Especially after she gave an ultimatum to Ron too choose between her and me, and Ron chose me. So, she waited through the War and everything. This seemed like perfect timing to her because she could ruin Ron while he was at a peak in his career, having made it to the World Cup."

Harry looked at Ron and said, "Mate, I'm picking the girls out for you next time."

Draco pulled Hermione to his side as he said, "This one's mine, Weasley. You can't have her, no matter what your thoughts back when we were in school."

Ron just snickered, "Don't worry. She's all yours, mate. I don't want to be anywhere near her when she finds out that you do your laundry very rarely."

All of them laughed as Ron said his goodbyes and went off to prepare for the match.

Harry looked happily at the new couple and told them, "I kept telling Hermione that you liked her, but she never believed me. I guess she needed to hear it from you before she accepted it."

Hermione solemnly nodded then ruined the moment with a giggle. Draco looked at her sappily and Harry groaned.

"I'm out of here. The last thing I need is to feel lonely because my 'sister' got who she wanted, finally." He hugged them and left.

Hermione kissed Draco, deeply. Draco unexpectedly asked, "Any reason for that?"

She said, "I finally have you, and I'm never letting you go."

He kissed her head. "And I'm not letting you go, either."

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Let me know what you think about it! Thanks for reading!


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